If you like opinionated self descriptions then get a load of this

I like nothing better than thinking of a way to make something clever , complicated or nifty with computers or the internet. I like solving problems for people . I specialise in doing unsual things with computers but luckily my arrogance allows me to pretend to know more than you about all sorts of other things like live audio streaming , sound systems , music studios , projectors , vegan cookery and festivals too. Please don't ask me to do anything connected with weapons , meat , big corporations , oil , aeroplanes or any of the other things that are known to annoy people with ethics and hair.